I’m ashamed to say that I’ve attended a few questionable bachelor parties in the distant past and I’ve never walked away thinking, “Wow, that was really worthwhile!” So why did I go? Who’s idea was this? Why is this the expected experience of so many soon to be grooms? I have a few theories.
That One Friend: You know the guy I’m talking about. His relationship with his wife/girlfriend is dicey at best if he even has one. He’s the guy that consistently pushes things past the line. If everyone is having a beer or two, he’s ordering shots and trying to convince everyone to drink faster. If a pretty girl walks by, he’s making inappropriate comments. While everyone else has left their wild years behind, this guy carries himself the same way he did at his college frat house. He’s the guy that you wouldn’t become friends with now but because you’ve know him so long, it would be hurtful not to invite him.
He is the one responsible for the strippers that showed up at your bachelor party. Why? Because he’s been very strategically influencing your impressionable group of friends. He’s convinced everyone that having strippers is the only way to have a real bachelor party. You’re bachelor party is lame if you do something else. Without a better idea in mind, you and your best man, passively let it happen. Why does he do it? This is in no way a celebration of you. His sole purpose, is to selfishly feed his own twisted pleasure. In the process he robs you of the opportunity to have a great time with the friends you love and maybe even have the experience of a lifetime. Furthermore, the whole affair disrespects the woman you love, embarrasses you, leaves you with little or no memories and if it doesn’t destroy your life, it leaves you with an epic guilt ridden headache. Sounds like a great time, doesn’t it?
Where Did This Idea Come From?
Have you ever seen the movie Hangover? American Pie? Old School? Although many of these movies are hilarious, they all normalize the use of near naked women for the entertainment of men. There are hundreds of movies available to the American public with the same consistent message. “It’s normal to objectify women.” Movies have shaped the perceptions of American culture, especially for men. While every person has the freedom to choose what they watch or don’t watch, it takes intentional effort to avoid societal influence. From beer commercials to web-hosting adds, sexy women are used as a tool to lure men. When your friend convinces you to have the so called ultimate bachelor party, it’s a hopeless attempt to try to experience the unreachable elation promised by advertisers and movie producers. It never delivers, ever.
What if Your Wife Was a New Car?
What man doesn’t like naked attractive women? Well, some don’t, but that’s another story. You could make a case that the first few minutes of a heroin high is a great time too. I personally can’t confirm that. Although this comparison alone is in poor taste, bare with me. Imagine that getting married is like buying a new car. You find the car you’ve always wanted and you you’ll have it for the rest of your life. Would you then have your friends rent you a few old, broken down, mechanically unstable, vehicles with high miles and contaminated interiors that would only run if you continued to give them money? Without knowing it, you repeatedly smash into your brand new car and permanently compromise it’s value before you even received it from the dealer. By the time you get it, the joy of your new life with your new car is gone because it was sabotaged by the rented cars. Your new car may not even last half as long if it starts at all.
Real men respect and honor women. She is a daughter, a sister, a mother. She feels, has dreams and has pain. She longs to be loved and cherished. Her body is not something to be used for pleasure or sport. If you aren’t willing to love, protect, and honor every part of her, both physically and emotionally for the rest of your life, don’t look at her body. It’s stealing. Does this sound over the top? You are not a real man if you think so.
For you unmarried men out there, when the topic of “bachelor party” comes up, don’t even consider letting your sexually frustrated sleazy friend call the shots. An epic marriage deserves an epic celebration. In my next post, I will share with you how to plan an epic bachelor party that won’t ruin your life.