When It Rains It Pours: 3 Insights

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I hear a faint screaming over the noise of my bedroom fan. It’s dark, what time is it? It’s my 6 month old son. He’s awake way too early again. I wonder if he’s teething. Pain shoots up my right leg into my lower back as I roll my body toward the edge of the bed. My sciatic nerve is on fire. As my legs hit the floor, I’m jolted by a sharp pain from my swollen right knee. I’m not even sure how I injured my knee. I can barely bend it. It takes me a good 30 seconds to stand. My first 10 limping steps are brutal. I pour myself a glass of water from the Brita. When the cold water hits my teeth, I yelp like an injured dog. The filling fell out of my molar exposing the nerve. I haven’t been able to exercise effectively for 3 weeks. It’s taking it’s toll on my emotional and physical health.  I’m irritable. My wife feels it too. The weight of running my business and my family hangs on my mind like a crane hook. I have so much to do but I know sitting in my desk chair will only make my sciatic nerve much worse. I’m 36 years old but I’m walking like a 90 year old rodeo clown.  This is the start of my day. What a perfect segway to inspiring others to live the life they have always dreamed of!!!!

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Have you ever had a day like this? I just took another sip of water and it felt like I was getting punched in the jaw. I have more than I’d like to admit. I’m a life coach after-all. Shouldn’t my life be near perfect? It’s far from it but I’m learning how to bounce back from days like this.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Stop Wallowing As Soon As Possible: I don’t know why us humans default to wallowing in our pain and misfortune but I know that the longer we do, the longer our pain lasts. Sometimes we even make it worse. We perpetuate our negative thoughts by focussing on them, mulling them over in our minds and over processing them. We eventually end up feeling like victims. Self medicating with comfort food, alcohol, chocolate and Netflix is often the natural next step. Even if you were having a good day, self medicating would make you feel worse. Stop wallowing as soon as possible.

2. Climb a Tree: Figuratively. Get a “big picture” view of your life. A collection of challenges hit you all at once. It’s temporary. This is not the reality of your life. These challenges will pass. There is much in your life to be grateful for. You can see the words on this page. You can breath. You have a say in what your next move is. These challenges do not define your life.

3. Acknowledge Your Part: Guess what. You had a part in this. I haven’t taken care of my body. I need to stretch more. It’s been too long since my last dentist appointment. Sometimes, I workout too hard without proper stretching or preparation. I need more sleep and I need to eat better. What is your role in the struggles you’re facing? Do you often find yourself saying, “It’s not my fault?” If it’s not your fault, you may as well pack it up and quit, because you can’t do anything about it. Taking responsibility is empowering because it means you have a chance to do something about it.

Identify what you can do to help each one of your challenges and commit to doing those things for the long haul. This too shall pass.

If you need some ideas or perspective on your challenges, please reach out to me at michael@mcgreevyleadership.com.

 

Successful Leaders Invest in Their Marriage

IMG_2112I’ll spare you the fluffy intro. I coach leaders. I’ve noticed some common themes.  Today’s theme is this: Every leader I have worked with has seen tremendous positive results across the board when being intentional about improving their marriage. 

Sounds good, right? Put family first. I’ve heard leaders say this without hesitation, “If my wife needed me, I would drop everything and come running.” While that sounds honorable, it just isn’t enough.  I’ve intentionally spent a great deal of time with successful people over the past few years. I base my measure of success on much more than monetary riches. I look for things like joy, quality of life, sense of purpose, meaningful relationships and yes, financial success too.

This is what I noticed:

  • Their wives and husbands are treated like royalty. (Opening doors, lending a hand on stairs, etc.)
  • They consistently brag about their spouses and honor them with their actions and speech.
  • Investing in counseling,  attending marriage conferences and reading marriage books are a regular part of their marriage.
  • Although their children are a close second, it is clear that their spouses are put first.
  • Romantic dates, special gifts, hand holding and being present are not reserved for special occasions.

Really? Being a hopeless romantic makes you successful? Think about it.  Your marriage is a launch pad for everything you do.  It’s the place you return to at the end of the day. It’s the person you celebrate with when you win.  It’s the place you find support in times of struggle.  It’s the person you will enjoy your success with. If you don’t regularly invest in your marriage, you are putting a cap on your success.

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I’ve heard it explained that marriage is a glass ball and the other areas of our lives are rubber balls.  As we juggle, marriage is the one ball you don’t want to drop.  While our careers, health, finances, etc. all have the potential to bounce back, our marriages are affected forever. A great marriage enhances everything we do and a toxic marriage can sabotage it.

Is your marriage life giving or is it sucking the life out of you? Either way, decide to start investing in your marriage today, your quality of life and the success you will experience depend on it.

I have a lot to learn about marriage but I the one thing I will never stop doing is working hard to intentionally make it better.

If you’re interested in being intentional about improving your marriage alongside a group of intentional leaders, put September 2nd on your calendar. The Life Leadership Mastermind begins. For more info, email me at michael@mcgreevyleadership.com.

Life Leadership Mastermind